My favorite kind of Sunday night

Birthday loving

Every Once in a While

I go out on my own all the time. And 99.9% of the time it's all ok. 

That .01% gets me. I sit at a table of couples and watch their dynamics. Their connections. The support. The love. The friendship.

I have none of that.

And every once in a while it hits me. And it sucks. 

Tonight I had to leave. It was starting to seep in, wrangle inside and start to pull me down.

Yes. I had to leave. 

It leaves me feeling so incredibly empty (void of love) and alone. Overwhelming alone.

Tonight I cranked the music - which btw is the best escape of life, jumped into the hot tub (after I turned off all the lights in the house) and soaked up the stars.

We live in the most amazing place - I can see hundreds of thousands of stars. Crazy. And I always have to remind myself of the bigger picture and keep things in perspective.

But sometimes, like tonight, it's hard.

Fucking hard. 

Louisa Schibli 

Hanging out on a Saturday night

Still miss Bailey. Every. Day.