The accusations

Late this past summer - we spoke on the phone for the last time. As he spoke I transcribed what he was writing. Here are just some of the things he said:

I am sorry, you are not ready to act normal.

What you are doing to me and the kids is damaging.

I worked my ass off so you had lots of money. I'm really sorry someone pulled the plug so you had to carry the weight. Can you not have a little respect?

You poisoned people around here against me, but I don't care about people around here.

I supported you for 25 years now it's your turn to pay.

I supported you for 25 years. What woman can have zero respect? What woman can keep him away from the kids?

I feel good about what I did. (when I asked him how he feels when he looks at himself in the mirror).

For 25 years I worked my ass off and pulled in a lot of money. I did a lot. I didn't even enjoy it.

Stop with the little bit of hardship you've had over the last year. (this is my personal favorite)

You've been absolutely 100% blocking the children from seeing me.

You should foster and environment that's healthy for the kids.

When do you realize that you have a way of turning a switch? You have a problem and it doesn't work with me. You have a way of not being able to close this. You need to learn this, let me tell you. I hope you listen to what I say. You need to learn how to listen and you need to give in and have empathy.

You have no empathy.

If there was extra money I would down the road. I'd take some furniture and the kids would come down. I can't do that because after 25 years of working I have nothing. I deserve some respect too.

(then when talking about my work he said):

You did it off my back  - you have a wealthy business off of what I was doing here.

Have some respect. You could make a difference by having our kids realize that we can do things together. So we can show unity.

I have no home and one day they will look at you and say, "it's not fair. Dad did a lot."

I worked a long time. I tried. 

You have the money. Not me. the money is gone. Would you like to get me a house here? I need a place to stay over here. Would you ever consider to leave and go to your parents for a week so I could stay here with the kids? And the kids would say "wow Mom is so nice.".

I don't have a place and our kids are suffering because of that.

It hurts me when you spend time with my siblings and act like everything is normal. You should have decency for me,

(when I asked him to explain this - because I don't understand that sentiment, he said):

You go around and pretend everything is ok and yet you don't give a fuck about me. 

That hurts. 

Have some respect. 

I don't have any money.

I want a place.

I love my kids.

Are you stupid or what?

You need to change the way you treat me. You can't go around and be normal with my siblings.

My parents are pretty damn normal and they want what's best for the kids. But you are going to have to change.

You have to understand something, of course my parents are listening to me.

Oh they know what's going on. You have to stop slandering me. I'm their son. the way you treat me. There are things you have done.

(I asked - like what?)

Oh we are not going into THAT again. Things are not right. You're going to have to change.

They know things are not right.

They don't care about what you feel.

(then we talked about what went down when he told D1 that he was living with the woman)

You should have looked at it in a different way. Understood that it's normal for me to do this. Help her with that. It was ok to move in. You made her fearful.

What you've done with the kids is extremely difficult. You're making it more difficult.

D1 and I have our own relationship. I know what I said to her. I know she was fine with it with me. I worked it out fine with her. Point blank you are not correct. (when I said D1 struggled with this).

You're ill. (this is my second favorite line)

I take the time to see my kids. You should be respectful. Where's the house down the road. Please have a little respect, I don't have a place.

Is it my choice that I made all the money and the money is gone?

I don't see anybody over here helping to give me a job.

You should be respectful. I feel very bad about not seeing them.

You will never learn. You don't know how to take your own responsibility. You're the one who always has to win. Not fair.

I just wish that we could do something together.

I have real issues. I don't get to see my kids.

Do you think the kids always want to to out to meals and play golf?

They would like that I have a place too.

Would have been nice if you went to your Mom's. Now that would have been nice.

I earned a lot of money.

(I told him he was lucky to be walking away with the money that he is - and he went crazy):

You're so frickin mean. What gives you the right to that to me? You have to think about what you say. 

We were lucky that I stayed abroad. We were lucky I stayed there so I could get the unemployment.

You are not a compassionate person. It's one of the lowest things you've said. So don't say I am lucky to walk away with that money. Take it back and say your sorry.

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I said I was sorry. And we ended the call. There is no reasoning with this illogical, irrational thinking.